What Pegman Saw: Expectations

Fort Walsh National Historic Site, Saskatchewan

It was early June 1988. Twenty-year-old Pepper Baiij and her twenty-two-year-old husband, Larry Velasco, were visiting the Fort Walsh National Historic site in Saskatchewan. Pepper hoped to find an answer to the constant unfulfilled feeling in her soul while on this trip. She and Larry both enjoyed taking road trips, but where Larry seemed content to take things as they came, Pepper longed for something more.

Pepper felt terribly irritable but was determined not to lash out at Larry. Her poor husband tried so hard to make her happy. It wasn’t his fault that her soul was a bottomless well that no ordinary man could ever fill.

Pepper had been feeling nauseous nonstop from the time that the couple crossed the border into Canada. She hoped that she wouldn’t spend the whole trip sick. The relentless noonday sun only increased the queasiness. Pepper stepped into the tall grass and vomited.

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  1. More please.
    My mind is racing ahead, and may or may not be on the right track.

    1. The Pepper character is semi-autobiographical for me. This fairly well describes what was going through my head when I was pregnant with my son. I'd been told that I couldn't get pregnant because of PCOS. That obviously turned out to be untrue. My son was born May 8, 1990. I had an early miscarriage when he was a year and a half old, but at the time, I felt it was for the best. My marriage went to hell in a handbasket after my son's birth. We ended up divorcing when he was four and it was a good decision. At this point my ex-husband and I are on good terms.


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