Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #89: Extreme Haibun: Is It Too Much to Ask For Rain?


“Is it too much to ask for it to rain?” I ask as I spend another summer steeped in sweat.

Yet I remember the year when the flood came, another year when I often asked: “is it too much to ask for it to rain?”

I remember the wave slamming into the side of my car, the terror as I wondered if I would be swept away into a field which had become a choppy lake.

I did not ask for it to rain for a long time after that.

when something well-loved
becomes a thing of terror
everything changes

~Cie~




Image from the Longmont Times-Call

Notes:
For those who are prone to questioning my veracity, the story related above is 100% true and I had PTSD following the incident. One of the ways in which this affected me is making me unable to write for a long time. People lost their lives during this flood, and I didn't know why I wasn't one of them. I've never done anything which I believe makes me worthy of continued survival, and yet, like toenail fungus, I persist in hanging around long past my sell-by date.

2 comments:

  1. 'when something well-loved
    becomes a thing of terror
    everything changes'
    Truth. Something or someone.
    As always I am longing for rain, but have never experienced a flood. Fires yes. And even the scent of smoke on the wind gets my heart racing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We tend to get wildfires every year in Colorado. One year they destroyed an entire town (Manitou Springs.) I remember buying a little doll with a cradle shaped like a swan from a shop there and felt deeply saddened for the residents of the town.
      The flood was extremely unexpected. We had unusually heavy rains which ended up overwhelming the waterways and spilling into the streets.

      Delete

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