Snippet and Info: Wella Goes Missing (ER, SF)

Max bounded into Wella’s apartment and went straight for the bedroom. He was horrified to find the couple’s bodyguards, Krystal and Jewel, lying on the bed, unconscious and wrapped in fine strands of unearthly thread. Wella was nowhere to be found.
Max tentatively touched the threads, which cocooned his bodyguards like the silk of a spider. He was relieved to see that Krystal and Jewel were breathing. He found Wella’s sewing kit and procured the scissors. He tried to cut away the strands encasing the women to no avail.
“Fuck! How do I get them out of here?” Max wondered.

Excerpt from Carnal Invasion VI: The Dark Delights of Mistress Kali 

Weekend Writing Warriors is a weekly blog hop where participants share an eight to ten sentence snippet of their writing, either published or unpublished.
And now for bragging and exciting news from your Naughty Netherworld team.

Team Naughty Netherworld is proud to announce our forthcoming full-length novel, lovingly if stressfully crafted during November for the infamous NaNoWriMo, and soon to be available only from Kindle.
There are plenty of exciting surprises, enticing plot twists, and, of course, lots of the sizzling hot encounters you have come to expect in a Naughty Netherworld story. 
Please explore our previous posts on the Naughty Netherworld Press blog to discover past installments in the Carnal Invasion series.
Take note that the erotica featured in the Carnal Invasion series is extremely explicit. It is generally GLBT and often involves group activity and BDSM. We describe these lusty verbal forays as literary hentai. They are a bit over the top, and while a good time is had by all characters involved, these torrid tales are not appropriate for everyone.

Fetch: A Gate to Hlanith

Copyright Patrick Jennings

A Gate to Hlanith
Henry Zambrano

This piece is written in the voice of our supporting character and friend to the Clifford brothers, Henry Zambrano
This piece is rife with profanity, so if you are sensitive about swearing, don't read it.
Earth's Dreamlands, Dylath Leen, the Cerenarian Sea, Hlanith and Mormo are the creations of H.P. Lovecraft

As we were about to exit the storeroom of the Dark Room underground nightclub in Dylath Leen, a gate opened in the floor and sucked us in. We fell for what seemed like 666 years but in reality was more like six seconds. We tumbled out on the shores of the Cerenarian Sea near Hlanith. A pair of small handmade boats were moored by a dock.
"Well, Henry Tharapithia was right," I said. "Gates do have a way of turning up in the strangest places. One would think it was some kind of conspiracy."
"Ain't much of a conspiracy," Gerry Clifford said with a shrug. "There's a certain faction of the demon aristocracy that still wants to see me and Paul tortured in one of the hells for all eternity. Since General Wylie and General Mondegreen's hearts went and grew six sizes too big when they became best bosom chums and all, them blighters hired that Tatiana Sawyer hag who's mates with Yadira Root to off me. She don't seem like the brightest bulb. One might have thought that when she realized I was about as nutritious as cotton candy, she'd have dropped me like I was hot, but she kept drinking me ectoplasm till all that was left was a soggy outer skin."
"Maybe she likes cotton candy," Paul speculated.
"Maybe she likes you, Gerry," Pepper suggested.
"Blech! Wash yer mouth out with soap, Woman! I'm hardly keen on the idea of some essence-drainin' harpy being keen fer me, 'specially after that vicious hickey she left on me neck when she tossed me spirit body in the corner like a feckin' limp dishrag and all."
"No offense, Pepper, but Gerry is a bit too adorable and waifish to appeal to the appetites of Tatiana Sawyer," General Deborah Wylie said. "She tends to like her man candy a bit more in the needful scientific nerd category. She'd have been all over that slimy scientist Octavian O'Hara if he weren't gay as a goose."
"Papa Legba isn't exactly a scientific nerd," I countered. "But she's offered herself up to him more than once."
"Papa Legba is a powerful Loa. Tatiana likes sex, but she likes power even more," General Wylie said.
"And she's a vengeful bitch, ain't she?" Gerry asked.
"Yes, that she is."
"Right. So, I just figured out why she turned me into a vampire and also why she accidentally killed Laddy Babylas and tried to get the blame put on you."
"To answer your question, General Wylie, his full first name is Ladislaus," Paul interjected. "Saw the puzzled look in yer eye and thought I'd clear that up."
"Anyways, fer all her belief that she's so cunning and smart, Tatiana is a bit of a bumbler," Gerry continued. "She's arrogant as fuck, which trips her up. She's impulsive, which trips her up all the more. She also can't feckin' stand to hear the word 'no.' Bit like Mormo in that regard."
"So, Laddy Babylas' death was an accident?" I asked.
"Right. I was the actual target," Gerry said. "I've also figured out me obsession with writing about vampires. I remembered something that Odinn said on an unfortunate occasion where I was hoping to surprise Pepper with a sexy moment involving me bits and a bottle of party streamers but instead ended up flashing Paul and Odinn. See, whilst Paulie was busy being all melodramatic about it, Odinn asked me if I was gonna involve that bit in me penny dreadful, as he calls Pepper's and my Bloody Velvet story. Well, as I was channeling me former self who was cursed by a spiteful sea witch callin' herself Gale Storm to be a disaster around boats, I'd no idea what he was talking about since Cap'n Seafaring Gerry were no wordsmith. But me affinity fer vampires does come from that lifetime after all. And by the way, Henry, I think Gale Storm sounds like a bad porn star name too. Gale was either one of our old friend High Priestess Yadira's chums or she was Yadira. I'm sure of it."
"Mormo got us, didn't she?" Paul asked. He reached for his brother's hand so he could better attune with Gerry's memories.
"Mate, she got me. I got complacent and I was careless. Thing is, I always knew that lifetime wasn't just fun and games, you and me bein' seafarin' Robin Hoods havin' hijinks on the high seas. I remembered that after Gale the Sea Witch cursed me, I sank our ship. I had a moment of joy when I saw that I'd conked Yadira, who was at the bottom of the briny in the guise of an octopus on the head with the falling anchor, but I knew that wasn't the way I died. Mormo, she..."
Gerry wiped bloody tears from his eyes.
"Her devotees got to Pepper and Sophia--our Barnacle Bess and Seafaring Sue. We had to off them to stop them from becoming soulless, sanguinary slayers, and it kinda took all the joy out of that otherwise pretty bloody jolly lifetime."
Paul sniffled and gave a soft chuckle.
"Am I feckin' horrible because I think that 'soulless, sanguinary slayers' sounds like a bloody good line to have in a song?" he asked.
"Fuck no! Yer right on target, Mate, and we'll write it as soon as we're back at me place in the Katharian Hills celebratin' with Pepper's frost giant sons. Yer pretty much not ever horrible, Paulie. Sometimes yer a bit of a prat, and sometimes you drive me up a wall 'cause you've this baffling tendency to be so smart but so obtuse all at the same time, but you have a huge feckin' heart, and even though you tend to play the class clown, I know yer way sensitive and the shite that goes on in a rather heartless cosmos cuts you to the quick. Anyways, back in that other lifetime, we was hell-bent fer leather, so to speak. I'd me sights set on Mormo, and with the spell cast by our mate Laddy, who was a feckin' badass sorcerer in that lifetime, her devotees was catchin' their z's, leavin' her bloodsuckin' arse vulnerable to attack. You remember that time we was in the courtyard in Nyarlathotep's dead world and she came out of that fountain?"
"How could I forget?" Paul asked. "It was yet another one of the 666 bazillion times that hanging out with you caused me to come near to soiling me drawers. At least that time I was on the astral, so it wouldn't have been a smelly mess, just a load of ectoplasm and all."
"Would you...yer ridiculous, you know! Here I am tryin' to impart a tragic tale, and yer off on a tangent about having a huge ectoplasmic shite. Anyways, just like on that occasion, Mormo's undead marble carcass leaped from the fountain and vamped me."
"Oi, did she leap?" Paul inquired. "'Cause on that occasion when we was in Nyarlathotep's courtyard, she didn't leap so much as creep, and she was right slow about it too."
"Paulie, I swear..." Gerry sighed. "To be honest with you, Mate, I don't know if she leapt or crept from the fountain. I was on the lookout for ghouls. I wasn't thinking about the fountain. So, however she got out of the fountain, once she was out she was ready to spring, and spring she did, and sank her fangs into my neck, and that was all she wrote fer that lifetime, but it explains why I've a thing fer writing about vampires in this lifetime."
"You've also got a thing fer playing vampires with Pepper. I always know when the two of you have been working on your story, 'cause she has hickeys all over her neck."
"Yeah, well, it makes me feel young again to write a fanciful story with me hot--I mean, talented co-author and to act out the good parts."
"I'm just windin' you up, Ger, I'm sorry. It's nice that yer enjoying yer unlife."
"Yeah, well it breaks me heart every time I know yer cryin' fer missin' me. I love you, Mate, and I always have. Yer the other half of me soul. So, when I got turned into a vampire, I'd a terrible decision to make while me mind was still mine. I knew I needed to off meself, and I knew you'd have a target on you fer the rest of your life. When we went out on the water that day, my intention was to convince you to go through a gate to another world, but..."
Gerry couldn't say the words. Paul embraced his brother, who broke down and wept.
"I killed meself too," Paul revealed. "But it ain't as straightforward as how it sounds. We...there was a ceremony to it. Gerry was startin' to change before me eyes, and..."
"Let's back up just a tick," Gerry interrupted, regaining his composure. "Paulie and I had nothin' left to live for in that life. We'd had to kill the women we loved so's they wouldn't become Mormo's eternal devotees, all devoid of any emotion except cruelty and bloodlust. Our bonny ship was at the bottom of the briny. Our friends and family were all dead or changed, and Mormo was pissed as fuck at us fer setting her chambers afire. So as dawn approached, we commandeered a couple of little handmade rowboats and headed east."
Gerry looked to the east and swallowed hard before continuing his story.
"Paulie's right, I started to change," he said. "Me own brother was lookin' more like a meal than a mate with every passing moment. Luckily, the sun came up when it did, and me morphed body caught fire. But as I returned to me senses fer a last moment before departing the world, I watched as he transformed into his true self, and it was bloody exquisite! Beneath the class clown alter-ego that everyone thinks is this blighter's real identity, he's a glorious infernal being. Granted, he physically set the boat afire with himself right in the middle, but his true self rose from the ashes like a feckin' Phoenix, all red and gold infernal flame."
"Yeah, I remember now, seein' your true self, all red and blue energy, an avenging angel," Paul recalled. "There was a moment of joy when we rose up away from all the sadness at the end of our lives, but it wasn't long before we was plopped down in another life. No rest fer the wicked and all."
"So Tatiana thought she'd get brownie points from Mormo and Yadira for offing you," I speculated.
"Exactly," Gerry confirmed. "But, as I said, Tatiana is a feckin' bumbler."
"Yah, while I have enjoyed listening to you regale us with tales of your yesterday, you need to bring your arse through this gate," Ketil Nagel proclaimed as he stepped out from behind the dock. "Come along, there isn't a minute to spare! ."

From the diary of Henry Zambrano

Prompt Used:

Cheesy Cinema Review: Hold the Dark

Netflix' Hold the Dark is fascinating conceptually, and the cast does a stellar job of playing their roles. But when the viewer comes away from a film saying "why the hell did any of that happen?" it isn't a good thing.
I haven't read the book that this film was based on. Maybe if I had read the book, I'd understand the film better. However, a well-executed film would not require the viewer to have read the book to understand what is going on.
I feel that the film tries too hard to avoid being Another Werewolf Movie and doesn't do enough to ensure that the viewer understands the reason why All The Spooky Weirdness is transpiring in the first place.
I wanted to like this movie. I wanted it to live up to the hype and the stellar cast. It did not do so.
I wish that Netflix hadn't changed their viewer rating system from stars to a thumbs up/thumbs down. I would have given this movie three stars with Netflix' previous system. As it stands, I didn't rate it. The performances were too good for it to merit a thumbs down, but I came away too befuddled for it to merit a thumbs up.
One should not have to rely on search engines to find an explanation for why events transpired in a movie. Arguably, I did have to do this for some events in Prometheus and Alien: Covenant, which I found frustrating, but I understood the majority of the plot in these movies and would give both of them a solid thumbs up despite the various points of confusion. Since my reaction to Hold the Dark was "well, that happened, but why?" I cannot say the same for it.
Hold the Dark left me hungry for more, and not in a good way. It was the kind of hunger one has after eating a not vomit-inducing but unsatisfying deli sandwich from a service station because there isn't anything better available.
Cheesy Rating: 2.5 out of 5 wedges

~The Cheese Hath Grated It Cinematically~

The Cheese Grates It: Manosphere Morons and Other Idiots on the Internet vs. Reality

(via Why the "cock carousel" is bullshit, according to SCIENCE)I 

I wanted to share with you all my response to this post, first because David Futrelle is really cool and I love the way he takes apart the assholes who populate the so-called “manosphere.” 

Second, to rip a new one for all the assholes who love to claim stupid shit like “if you ship Wincest, it means you want to fuck your relatives” or for whom “pedophile” means “you ship something I don’t like.”

The following is part of my reality, and here are a few other delicious tasty morsels to chew on. Trigger warning for discussion of self-harm and sexual abuse.

I am celibate. I am not having sex with anybody. I don’t want to have sex with anybody. I don’t do relationships right, and casual sex is toxic to me. I don’t like it at all. Above all, I most assuredly don’t want to have sex with my relatives. When I was 19, my cousin hit on me. I handled it poorly. She was a broken person, and my running off to the other room rather than talking to her about what had happened destroyed our friendship. I regret that. But I most assuredly did not want to have sex with her. In all honesty, though, even though I am heterosexual, I would have been twice as upset if one of my male cousins had hit on me.

My cousin and I were both molested by her father. I was very young when it happened and I don’t really remember any details. I started having nightmares after my son was born and I eventually put the flashbacks together. My parents moved away from there when I was still pretty young. Obviously, my cousin would have memories of it happening to her because she was still with him. I was never alone with him after that.

So, the reality is, I don’t really like sex very much, and I certainly don’t like the idea of sex with my relatives.

This doesn’t mean I should get a pass to ship Wincest because I’m using it to work for trauma. I should be allowed to ship what I damn well want without being bullied and so should everyone else. If you think that people need to have been molested to earn the right to ship something, you can go fuck yourself.

I ship Wincest because I see a romantic dynamic between Sam and Dean. I love the idea of a relationship that triumphs despite impossible odds and societal taboos. I do not have an “incest kink.” Sam and Dean are the exception, not the rule. I never thought I’d ship an incest pairing, but they shipped themselves. I just write the stories.

Anyway, the following is my response to the blog post. I know I’m preaching to the choir, but maybe there’s a tiny chance that some ship shamer has a spark of humanity in them and will learn something from this revelation.

My 28-year-old son's high school friends who have married got married older than my high school friends, many of whom married right out of high school. Maybe better sex education and a generation of parents who were less reluctant to talk about topics like sex and drugs helped. 
Personally, I lost my virginity at 16 and I was definitely not emotionally ready for such a thing. Much though I joke about riding the cock carousel, I really never did. The guy I lost my virginity to was this gangly fellow about six foot six and he looked a lot more like Bob Denver than Brad Pitt. 
I was totally in love with him, was planning the wedding in my head and all, and he broke my heart. That colliding with a bunch of other fucked up stuff in my life earned me a trip to the mental hospital over the weekend with superficial cuts on my arms. I was treated like shit in that place which led to my pact with myself that I have kept for the past 37 years: I would die before I ever allow myself to be institutionalized again, even for a second.
What I didn't know at that point and what I wouldn't learn until I was 38 years old was that I had type 2 bipolar disorder, which is trickier to spot than type 1, and I had borderline personality disorder. 
Far from wanting to ride the cock carousel, I had a very romantic mind and a very low self-esteem, which led to my being taken advantage of by a number of less-than-honorable guys. After a horrific and extremely psychologically abusive relationship with a misogynist who would force me to watch really awful porn--we are talking bestiality and scat here--and who would force me to do things like kiss his feet under the threat that he would take his "love" from me, I ended up at his place one night with blood dripping from both wrists because, surprise surprise, after the initial thrill wore off he replaced my position as his "best girl" with someone who hadn't yet "hit the wall." She was in her early 20's. I was 34 at the time.
I wasn't done with ill-advised relationships yet, but even dense as I was I realized that I could not allow myself under the thrall of a creature like this ever again, if not for my sake than for my son's.
Admissibly, my situation was a bit extreme because of my undiagnosed mental illness. But make no mistake, guys like this prey on vulnerable women. They even say things like "the crazy ones are great in bed," and the line from Orange Is the New Black where Sophia tells her son about the philosophy of practicing on an insecure girl isn't a lie. These assholes don't think of women as people, they think of them as things to be used.
Maybe women of my son's generation are savvier about these creeps than women of my generation were. Women of my generation expected a certain level of misogyny. The younger generation may be less willing to put up with it. I certainly hope so.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It Hardcore~

Our Epic Story Free For Five Days!

Dear readers old and new:
Whether you have enjoyed the previous episodes in Naughty Netherworld Press' feature tale, Carnal Invasion, or whether you're a virgin looking to be initiated, we invite you to cum one, cum all, and experience our epic-length installment, The Dark Delights of Climax Castle, free from November 3 to November 7, 2018!
This installment gives you 12,000 steaming words describing the hottest acts, courtesy of our horny alien invaders from Gamma Iridon. The scandalous classic erotic film stars Samantha Zuniga and Ulrich Von Brandt had their own film studio during Hollywood's early era. They not only filmed sizzling tales of explicit desire, but they hosted lusty sex parties. They were the scandal of classic Hollywood.
Samantha and Ulrich were thought to have died during the 1950s, but they went underground. Now they are back and looking for new blood, and innocent film student Bernie Jaskowlski and his adorable gal pal Christy Ferdinand are right in their sights. 
What lascivious adventures await Bernie and Christy in Climax Castle? You can only find out by checking out The Dark Delights of Climax Castle, available only on Kindle, and free for the taking for just five days. Don't miss it!

Your dirty-minded friends at Naughty Netherworld Press

Closing Comments on This Blog

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